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| I have this passion that dwells deep inside my heart, threatening to break the surface. What passion is that? Loving the people of God. This, of course, includes everyone. I want to love His people. I want to reach out of my comfort zone and into theirs. I want to hug everyone I meet and I want them to know that I love them, but that my Father who is in Heaven loves them oh so much more.
Sounds like a rather commendable aspiration, right? Perhaps, but what good are aspirations and the like if there is no action? It is all for naught. I want these things and the desire is slowly leaking out of my heart, but that is the problem. It is SLOWLY coming out. I am holding back. I am not reaching out the way my Father would want.
This past week, I stayed off of Facebook and the internet (minus school usage, of course) and I spent that time I would have been talking to people online, talking with God instead. Everyday was a new adventure with Him. In the midst of all that adventure, there was a calling. He has, and is, calling me to reach out to specific people in specific ways. There is no guess work. I know what to do.
Given that and my aforementioned passion, it should be easy right? Somehow, not so much. I want to do it, but there is obviously that fear. That chokehold that satan has on me because he knows exactly what buttons of fear to push. I do not think I can stand to NOT do what God wants though. I have to do it. I want to. So here's a heartfelt request: Pray for me. Pray that I let God use me, that I become less of me, and in turn, more of Him. There is nothing within myself worth pursuing. The only thing in this life that is worth your time of pursuit is pursuing the heart of God. | | |
| My roommate said something the other day that has consumed my mind ever since. She said that satan enjoys keeping us down when we try to do big things for God. I think she's dead on.
I've found lately that when I desire most to move for Him and be a light for Him in the world, that's when satan trips me up. He wants me to fall. He puts thoughts of my past in my mind or temptations in front of me. And the scary thing is, I don't always see it for what it is. I don't always recognize it as a temptation at first or as him bringing things up. I think, to be honest, I blame God for it all. Instead of taking the blame when I mess up or telling satan no before I do, I seem to find a way to make it God's fault. How wrong my thought process is.
After hearing my roommate say that, I've been ever conscience of how satan wants to keep me from my King. Satan is trying to steal my desire and zeal for Him. He wants to take away the soul in me that rightfully belongs to my Father and Creator. I can't let that happen. He can use me for so much if I fight to be with Him. I want Him, I really do.
I've not fallen in a hole just yet. I'm praying that He can catch me before I do. Would you pray so as well? | | |
| I'm in Ethics this semester. We just started our first chapter and it's entitled something along the lines of "Why Be Moral?" I find this interesting. Think about. What exactly is our reasoning for being moral, and where do the morals come from to begin with? If you're a Christian, the answer seems rather simple. God made morals, hence the reason to abide by them. If you're not a Christian, the answer seems to typically be "doing good for the sake of it" or "do the right thing by others because it's what you'd want done to you" Sort of a golden rule thing, which also has a biblical background it.
But is it more than that? Are there a concrete set of morals that most everyone would agree with? What are other motivations behind being moral? Our book gives five reasons for it, but since I've already read it, I'm not going to give you those answer. Just think about it. You don't even have to respond. Just think about why you're moral, or if you know you're not and don't care, think about why not being moral seems to be okay. Think about where the morals come from and what they mean exactly.
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| This morning in my quiet time, I was reading my Bible and fell upon chapters 3 & 4 of Philippians. Here's what I found/learned.
"Everything is worthless when compared to the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." 3:8 - This is something I've come to know is true. When I'm not talking to Him, when I've momentarily fallen away, everything seems so empty and meaningless. I can see why some people who don't know Him feel like life is worthless. Knowing my God and being with Him is so crucial in this life.
"I trust Christ to save me." 3:9 - Recently, I've come to truly believe this. We all have our doubts. For me, it's time to stop doubting and simply believe Him.
"I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to the future" 3:13 - Every time I read this verse, I get some new perspective from it. This time the words "forgetting the past" scream out at me. Lately God's been trying to help me understand that I can forgive myself for my past sins because He has forgiven me. He says there's no reason to hold on to them and that doing so can eventually blind me from doing what He wants with my future. I'm working on becoming less blind.
"Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again - rejoice!" 4:4 - When bad things happen. typically, I'm rather unemotional in almost every sense of the word. It's like a self protective mechanism. But God doesn't want me to shut off. He wants me to be joyful because this life isn't the end. The bad things that happen here, they're not end. No matter how bad it gets, He wants my joyful affections. He desires for me to keep my eyes on the ultimate goal, coming home to Him. When that's consuming your thoughts, it's rather difficult to not be joyous.
"Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for He has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand/ His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." 4:6-7 - These words have been words of comfort many many times. But this time, it's more than just comfort I found. It was assurance that these words ring so true. In the past week or so, I've sort of gotten to see these words come to life. Instead of worrying about things, I prayed and spent time with my Father. And every time I talk to Him, this overwhelming peace never fails to to settle within me. And afterwards, I can see that this peace helps in my day to day life. It's a rather lovely cycle in that the peace I'm given eventually causes me to go back to Him for more.
So that was part of my quiet time this morning. I just felt like sharing it here. | | |
| That's a good statement. An accurate statement, but often times I find myself asking a question: Who is He exactly? I mean, yes, I'm aware that He is GOD. He was, is, and always will be. He's perfect. I understand those those things as much as a human can I suppose. But that doesn't help me really know His character. What's He really like?
I've been a Christian for about 4 1/2 years now and yet somehow, I managed to not retain too much of who this God is who saved me. That in itself is disheartening to me. This thought has plagued me a while now so I've been asking Him, "Who are You? What are You really like? I missed it somehow, could You teach me again?" And so He has.
I'm one of those learners who can't move on to something else until the lesson I'm learning connects with me in a way I can relate to it and for me, that can sometimes take a while. God knows that. So although I've spent many days learning from Him, I've only come to really know two things so far. The first is that my God is crazy faithful. The second is that my God is incessantly forgiving. It's taken a while, but those things make sense to me. And learning them has changed me by changing how I view Him, which changes how I think. I'm not sure if anyone else can see it just yet, but it has.
My God really is who He says He is. It's a worthwhile journey to figure out just who that is. It might take a lifetime, but I've got the time. | | |
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